By Various

Man's Best Friend
Mike and Sam decided to get together one morning and play a round of golf. Sam brought along his little white poodle. When Sam sank a 12-foot putt on the par 5, No. 1 hole, the little white poodle stood on his hind legs and began to dance and jump and bark. Mike told Sam: "That's great. What does he do when you miss the putt?" Sam said "He does somersaults." Mike asked: "How many does he do?" Said Sam: "Depends on how hard I kick him."

Does Everything But Make Coffee
Two buddies meet for an early morning round and one notices the other's ball. He says: "Hey, I've never seen a ball like that before." The other guy replies: "Oh yeah, this is the best ball I've ever played with. I can't lose this ball no matter how bad my game is." "What do you mean?," the other replies. "Well, when I hit into the lake, it's got little flippers that swim it to the top and to the shore. Then it's got little feet that push it to a good lie." "Wow, that's amazing says the other. What happens if it goes in the woods?" "It has a beeper that continues until I pick the ball up." "That's amazing," said the other. "Where did you get it?" "I found it."